Corbin's Way

Tape Art Update

anabuckmaster — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:08:18 +0000

Coming up on 6th month anniversary of losing our angel Corbin and it still doesn’t seem real sometimes. Still have some very bad days missing her so much. Don’t know what I’d do with my counselor Chris and the few friends that have hung on. I never knew people would start avoiding you and you actually lose friends when you have a death in your immediate family. I guess they just don’t know what to say or do so they just stay away???????? Sure hope I’m never that way. That’s when you need friends most of all. I still talk to Corbin every day and tell her how much she is missed and how much I still love her. I can’t imagine not loving her or not missing her. I also could not imagine life with out her but I’ve had to learn to live that life. I’m not sure what type of job I’m doing but it sure has been terrible!!!!!!
The tapeart project turned out great. He has changed the name of the piece for ZOO to Corbin’s Mural and is putting it up on his website along with her story. Not sure when he’ll get it up but you can check it out off and on. Go to www.tapeart.com . When he took down the Greensboro piece Zoo, he made a ball of the tape used for Corbin and her monkey and sent it to me for her brother to keep.
Still working on ideas for her memorial garden that we get to put at the school. Probably this fall. Don’t know why I’ve been away from her site so long but I just couldn’t come here for some reason. Just sorta dreading the 4th of July because it is followed by the 5th……………DeeDee

TAPE ART IS HAPPENING!!!

vadoavanti — Fri, 08 May 2009 11:30:34 +0000

He is still working on the tape drawing but he already has Corbin and her monkeys in the drawing. And I was able to see part of it on his web-cam at www.tapeart.com I’m headed up there this evening around 6:30 when I get off work to take more pictures. Hope some of you get up to see it also. Please let me know if you do… Thanks DeeDee

Tape Artist Honoring Corbin!

vadoavanti — Thu, 07 May 2009 02:22:06 +0000

There is a world wide known Tape Artist in town this week going tape drawings on buildings uptown. He is doing one in the City metered parking lot across from Natty Greens involving Zoo and animals. I took him two pictures of corbin and talked about her with him and he is going to incorparate her into that drawing complete with monkeys. You can watch live cam of his work at http://www.tapeart.com/

He is doing 3 other places near by but just check it every now and then and if it looks like a Zoo thing….watch and you’ll see how he works Corbin into the drawing. He promised me pictures and also when he takes its down…he is saving Her portion for Chandler and he is making a ball out of all the tape used and keeping it and calling it Corbin’s Ball… how cool love to you all DeeDee

Four Months Today…

vadoavanti — Thu, 07 May 2009 02:18:26 +0000

Four months today Baby Angel Girl. I miss you just as much as Day 1….Feeling you with me makes it easier but doesn’t make me like it any better. But you’re safe and sound and beautiful. That’s what matters …just stay near by like you have been….please I love you Corbin and I know you love me too Everybody misses you DeeDee

Letter from Michaela

vadoavanti — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 23:56:36 +0000

R.I.P Corbin Nikolasa Gil

This was written by one of my friends Granddaughter. Her name is Michaela and she helped her Mom and Grandmother blow up the 200 balloons for Corbin’s Celebration. Thank you Michaela, Rhonda & Judy. Pam (DeeDee) R.I.P Corbin Nikolasa Gil

Current mood: blessed

Corbin Nikolasa Gil was eight years old that passed away on January 5th that was diagnosed with brain cancer on the 6th of September. She was a beautiful little girl and was very special and her family loved her dearly. She loved bright colors and animals especially monkeys. I just wanted to write this to show my sincerity for her and her family and say that you are in a better place now up in heaven. Anybody, I wish & hope that you would make a donation to the Ronald McDonald house or the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation and help a little child in need. And I ask everybody to hold your loved ones very close and enjoy life and the wonderful things in it while you can because you could be like this little girl and not know when your last day on earth is. We take so much for granted now a days and I just want to say I am fully blessed for the life I have and the people in it. Once Again R.I.P Corbin Nikolasa Gil you will be loved & missed

Eight Short Years, Five Long Months…

vadoavanti — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 11:10:07 +0000

This was sent out by Kati a while back. I never got it then. Tonight my computer has been acting up and after re-booting and bringing my AOL up….it said I had mail….I opened my mail box and there were 5 e-mails in it. the middle one was the only one I glanced at for some reason. it said…Eight Short Years, Five Long Months. I could not see any of the senders because an AOL box had it blocked. I didn’t try to open any of them but just shut my mail box so I could reopen it with the AOL box gone. When I re-opened it there was NO MAIL>>>>>>NONE??????????? It is not in my OLD mail…It is not in my Deleted mail. It is not saved anywhere?????????? I called Kati and asked if she had sent me an e-mail tonight and she said NO. I asked her if she knew of something about Eight Short Years And 5 Long Months and she said YEA She had written that a while back. I asked her to send it to me and she said she would if she could find it. We chatted a while…. while she searched for it and finally found it and sent it to me. I was so confused as to where it had disappeared to and who had sent it to me. She laughed and said “Momma, Corbin is really working you”…still laughing, she added …”Maybe you need to ask her to give you a break”……Call us crazy, but we K N O W Corbin is with us and as usual she is messing with us. Things keep disappearing and then turn back up???? It is making my life a little easier knowing she is near and it is helping her Mom…….I hope the following makes it easier for some of you….Love Ya Corbin, I miss you so very much… DeeDee Eight Short Years, Five Long Months For those who are looking for a reason, or an explanation To help you find peace or justify why she is gone from us I think if you continue to search for a way to make sense of this There will never be an answer, just an empty hole; a vast abyss She was born from passion, and not of love Maybe that’s why she was taken, to guide us from above. She was always a force of nature to be reckoned with She knew who she was, and needed no reinforcement Emotionally internal and distant, (except on her terms) It was clear if she would tolerate you and even clearer if she wouldn’t I’m grateful I was on her short list; she certainly made it clear if you weren’t Our bond was unbreakable, as we swam against the current I can never go back and be a perfect mother, even if I could I wouldn’t I would never try; and to say that I would or was would be a lie I did the best I could, that much I know that she knew I loved her completely, and without a doubt she loved me too. We sang, we cried, and laughed together until the day she died I held her in my arms as she screamed in pain and it seemed to last forever I wept with her when she realized she would never dance again That’s when I knew that prolonging her time with us here was only selfish and vain So I made peace with setting her free And realized loving her meant not keeping her here with me It was nothing I had done, and there was nothing I could do Except tell her I’d be all right and take care of her brother too She never stopped fighting, even through that long, painful night Probably because she believed she was the only one of us with the strength to make things right. At eight years old, she had more conviction and self confidence than anyone I’ve ever known. Perhaps that’s why Heaven needed her great big little soul. That’s a question with an answer I guess I’ll never know, I do know that I’ll never forget her, or what she meant to me. I’ll never forget what she felt like growing in my womb; Or of dreaming of her beautiful face before it came into this world and shone. I dreamt then of her face, and just as I saw her before she actually came here, She will be in my heart long after she’s left this place and watching us shed our tears I will always carry with me the memories of eight short years of inspiration Not the agony of five long months of pain. And somewhere in the empty place she filled, I will find inner peace and the courage to be what she might have been. This is what Corbin would say to you all if she could, At the very least it is what she wanted me to say to you now to help each of you to heal. Remember, you only get one life to live, there is no chance to appeal Love, Corbin & Momma

Guest Book

vadoavanti — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 02:05:34 +0000

Kati contacted the News-Record about the Guest Book that I mistakenly thought they gave the family. Since there is a charge, they have put it back on line so any one that wants to make their own copy or make more comments may do so. Well it is up to page # 7 and 3 new additions as of tonight. How special was our Corbin???? ANSWER: VERY SPECIAL!!! Still waiting on word of the Memorial Garden that we get to fix for others to know her by……..DeeDee

Fundraiser Update

vadoavanti — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:16:14 +0000

I was able to send two checks, each for $300, to the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation and the Ronald McDonald House of Durham this past Monday. Thanks to all who attended and to the bands for making this benefit/memorial a success! And a special thanks to George Rider for hosting the event.

Tony Steen, Peeler Teacher

…such a beautiful sweet girl…

vadoavanti — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:14:32 +0000

Two months today and It is still so hard. Yes I still cry every day, even if it is just before I go to sleep. Some days I do make it thru as far a work and the public goes but………I want to hear that sweet little voice say Hey DeeDee so bad it hurts. I sit at work surrounded by pictures of all my Grands all day. I also have 4 angles that coworkers have given me. They just appear on my desk. The latest was this past Monday. She is playing a violin just like Corbin did and she has long curly hair just like Corbin use to have and probably has again. I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has told me…everything happens for a reason…..I’d be rich but still would not understand why and what good is money???? it can’t help you forget such a beautiful sweet little girl….They say it gets better with time……it needs to come on now then…..DeeDee

Missing and Loving Corbin

vadoavanti — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:55:11 +0000

In 3 hours and forty-one minutes it will have been two months since Corbin’s suffering ended. I miss her more everyday, but continue to see signs that she is still with us in some way. Chandler and I see Rainbows almost evertime we are together. It makes me sad that she missed the biggest snow we’ve had in NC in years. It was more than she ever saw. She loved the snow. I’m gonna keep this short, because, I’m at a loss for words. She knows I cry everyday, which makes me feel gullty, but I think she knows it’s just because I miss her so much. She is so proud of Chandler, I just know it. We speak freely of her daily about the things we miss most about her, or what she would do or think about little things. I’m trying so hard to be strong, but I miss her more than there is water in the ocean, stars in the sky, or space in the universe. I love you my angel and I will do my best to live my life as you should have…I promise to live in Corbin’s Way. All My Love, Forever & Ever Momma